Nine Nine Nine!

Happy 9/9/09 from... Square One!



Wow, I miss that show.

Comic Shopping

So I met Kalinara for lunch today, and as it was a nice day, we went for a walk. During this walk we went to three stores, two of which were comic shops I'd never been to.

The first of these was hers. It was impressive. Twice as big as my LCS, it had a lot of merchandise, but still seemed open. It emphasized the games, I think -- they're the first things you see when you walk in -- but the comics section is pretty well organized, segregating titles by company or genre, and sorting them alphabetically. I found one issue of Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four I'd missed but hadn't found. There were more than a few tall shelves of trade paperbacks. We didn't really have time to peruse them, but I have a feeling I'll be going back at some point. Oh, and the staff seemed nice enough, too. Good vibes all around.

The second shop was not impressive. Small, and disorganized, it had long boxes strewn haphazardly under gaming tables and employees that didn't seem all that interested. I'd been keeping an eye out for an issue of Marvel Adventures Iron Man (the one featuring Yay!Spider Woman). We (well, Kali) asked whether they might have it, and one of them replied, "Probably not". Maybe he knew what he was talking about, but I kind of got the impression he just didn't want to bother. Then he went back to eating lunch. On the way out, we took a look at the back issue rack. Among other things, there was an issue of Anita Blake sandwiched between The Flash and Batman and the Outsiders. Which sounds like bad slash fic, but whatever. If the store survives the recession, I'll be surprised. That is, if I notice.

Later, at my own LCS, for which I have new appreciation, I found the Iron Man issue I was looking for. As part of a digest, but that's easier to store, anyway. That made me happy. But the real find of the day occurred not at a comic shop, but at a used bookstore. I'd been to the store before, but not to its second floor which has, among other things, television and film tie-in books:


Yes! It is a novel based on a screen-play for a notoriously bad film (which I haven't seen) based on comic books that aren't bad at all. I read the first chapter tonight. It's very meta, which I guess you have to expect. And it's probably better than the movie, since you actually picture comic book Howard, not a guy in a duck suit. (I still want to see the film, though, for the score if nothing else. John Barry is very good.)

It definitely takes precedence over finishing Twilight.

30-Second Recap

The following is my entry for Chris Sim's 2008 30-Second Recap Contest. I tried to take on Marvel's True Believers mini-series...




Note: I did take the cat photo myself. (She's my brother's cat. I really wish he'd name her.) Anyway, photography's drawing with light. I drew it with light myself, and then pasted it into MSPaint.

Wow. This is the second time I've done this, and the second time I've worried about disqualification.

Oh well!

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 11 ("Complications") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Ooh, movie day in science class
• What high schooler doesn't like that?
• But of course Bella can't focus on it.
• Duh, Edward's right there.
• Ohh, Edward, with his perfect face.
• Zot, zot.
• Next class.
• Bella cannot bear to part with Edward!
• Aww, Mike's all chivalrous in Gym.
• Poor Mike.
• Great guy with no taste in girls.
• But he's perceptive.
• He knows Edward wants to eat Bella.
• Probably doesn't know that Edward literally wants to eat Bella.
• (We the readers do!)
• But Bella could probably figure that one out.
• Listen to Mike, Bella!
• You idiot.
• Driving with Edward, blah, blah, blah.
• Hunting with vampires is dangerous for humans.
• More electricity. Zot, zot.
• Dreams of Edward.
• Chat with Charlie.
• Yes, Bella, Charlie might take issue with your possible necrophilia.
• Not that it matters, 'cause adults are useless.
• Bella's favorite color of the day is brown.
• Because it's warm.
• It's also the color of...
• Nevermind.
• She doesn't say it, I just think it.
• Edward is such a stalker.
• Oh, come on Bella, how hard is badminton?
• For a more-or-less able-bodied idiot, I mean?
• Exit Edward (finally).
• Enter Jacob the Complication.

Reading Twilight into the New Year

Reading notes for Chapter 10 ("Interrogations") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• It is a foggy morning.
• Edward gives Bella a ride to school.
• Overprotective, much?
• She likes his smell.
• They are compatible in an olfactory way.
• Vampires like fast cars.
• Yes, everybody stare at Bella and her beau.
• Jessica grills Bella about Edward.
• They continue to be boy obsessed for two class periods.
• Vampires can eat solid food.
• Like people can eat dirt.
• So can vampires get pica?
• Edward wants to know everything Bella thinks.
• And would like to censor her thoughts, if only he could...?
• All the guys at Forks High want Bella?
• Really?
• Why, for gods' sakes???
• Bella and Edward have a long lunchroom conversation.
• Vampires like to eat mountain lions.
• And bears.
• (And presumably tigers.)
• Oh my.

Happy New Year!

Forget resolutions. I need a theme song for 2009. Something to live by. Something that makes me happy.

I think it will be "Steer" by Missy Higgins.



My heart can be fierce. Yes it can!

Really.

If I'm not careful, this will start to sound like a New Year's resolution, so I'll stop now.

Bring on 2009!

Reading Twilight

I really am still reading Twilight. And slowly, due to the note-taking. My current hypothesis is that the faster you read this book, the more likely you are to like it. If you slow down, you actually have time to think about it, and it comes out sounding like Alanis Morissette covering "My Humps."



It's only an hypothesis, based on one bad song and the fact that I'm pretty sure I could blow through this terribly long novel in the space of a day or two if that was my goal. It would probably be better that way. But I'm prolonging the agony for the sake of my two or three readers, all of whom are friends who warned me about this book's level of awful. (Willow's right. I'm a masochist.)

So without further ado, here are my...

Reading notes for Chapter 9 ("Theory") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Edward knows your scent, Bella.
• This just gets better and better.
• Bella's mind doesn't work normally?
• No way.
• Edward drives too fast.
• Bella asks Edward about vampires.
• She doesn't care if Edward's a vampire.
• For some reason I start wondering if there's a necrophilia angle to this.
• I've never wondered that before.
• Why?
• "Vegetarian" vampire idea starts here.
• Edward worries about Bella when he's away from her.
• He also worries about her when he's with her.
• Edward worries about Bella all. The. Time.
• Obsessed much?
• This has been covered in previous chapters.
• Bella? Crying? Will wonders never cease...
• Edward gets Bella home.
• He warns her not to go into the woods alone.
• Meaning she inevitably will at some point.
• Mundane details, blah, blah, blah...
• And we end on the paragraph that's on the back cover of this book.

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 8 ("Port Angeles") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• High school girls apparently talk about boys to the exclusion of all else.
• And there is drama.
• Boy-related drama.
• Mundane details aplenty.
• So... Let's talk about Cullens!
• The Cullens "go backpacking all the time".
• The mystery deepens.
• No, Bella, the new age bookstore is the one you want. Idiot.
• (Can't go wrong with a new age bookstore in urban fantasy, right?)
  
• A silver Volvo in Port Angeles! Oh noes!
• A scary group of strong men following Bella! Oh noes!
• More scary guys. Triple oh noes!
• Edward swoops in to the rescue!
• Edward fears his temper.
• Edward takes Bella to dinner.
• At an Italian restaurant.
• So I guess garlic isn't an issue.
• Ohh, Edward, you really shouldn't dazzle people so.
• Ohh, Edward, you are so muscular.
• Bella is a "magnet for trouble".
• Duh.
• Meyer has to spell out everything in simple terms.
• That's kind of insulting.
• Edward's stalking Bella, but that's totally okay with her.
• He's mentally stalking her, even.
• Creepy.
• Edward is emo.
• Creepy and emo.
• Dangerous, creepy and emo.
• Don't leave me alone, Bella, or I will kill someone.
• If you don't leave me alone, I may kill you.
• Decisions, decisions.
• After (Bella eats) dinner, they go back to the Volvo, and that's it for Chapter 8.

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 7 ("Nightmare") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Bad dream involving a werewolf fighting a vampire.
• It was probably inevitable.
• Okay, I swear, I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW every single blessed detail about what Bella does while she waits for her modem to dial.
• Talk about padding the page count.
• Is the whole book gonna be like this?
• Yes. Pop-up windows are the bane of the internet user. I get it.
• Vampire research time for Bella!
• Bella's research fails. Time for her to take a walk!
• How long is this chapter again?
• Seriously?
• Damn.
• "Could the Cullens be vampires?"
• That question appears on page 138.
• Bella doesn't know.
• Of course, I do
• I saw the movie trailer.
• Bella does homework.
• Charlie gets home.
• Bella goes to bed.
• Another day dawns. It is sunny.
• School time!
• Bella writes a paper on Shakespeare and misogyny.
• I wonder what she concludes.
• I wonder whether it's ironic or appropriate.
• What? No Cullens?
• Bella can't keep her mind on anything.
• Well, except for getting her homework done.
• 'Cause she's a model student.
• Of course.
• Bella does not trust her sheriff dad to feed himself.
• Because adults are useless, I suppose.
• Time to go dress shopping with the girls!
• End of chapter.

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 6 ("Scary Stories") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Yes, Forks students, by all means tease Bella about the fainting spell.
• Ohh, Edward, where are you?
• Bella has an enemy. A blonde enemy.
• Time to go to the beach! And it's sunny!
• Pretty beach.
• Mike is a nice boy, Bella, you idiot.
• Dare you defy Edward and brave the tide pools???
• Sure. Better than braving evil blonde Lauren.
• Geez. I'm not exactly graceful, but even I don't fall all the damned time.
• Not even in the woods.
• Maybe Bella has an undiagnosed neurological condition.
• That would explain some things.
• Native Americans join the party!
• Another boy, Jacob, notices Bella.
• That makes... Five now?
• Well, five that are named.
• Jacob is pretty.
• And he's a mechanic.
• And he's a story-teller.
• A good one.
• Bella gets a scary vampire story.
• It's clearly an important plot point.
• And she gets a new friend.
• It starts to rain just in time for the beach party to leave.

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 5 ("Blood Type") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Edward is beautiful.
• Gush, gush.
• Bella's not smart, Edward.
• She's not gonna avoid you.
• She wants to gaze into your "deep gold eyes".
• Ohh, Edward, are you... Spider-Man?
• No?
• How about Superboy?
• No.
• Edward's... dangerous.
• Ooh.
• He's an ass, Bella. Stay away from Edward!
• (She's not staying away from Edward.)
• A micro-lancet! Oh noes!
• There is blood. It is time for Bella to faint.
• Is it even legal to do the blood type test in a public school?
• Or is it just a liability issue?
• My high school didn't allow it.
• Edward steals Bella away from Mike and carries her to the nurse's office.
• He. Carries. Her.
• Edward and Mike: Bitter rivals.
• But Mike doesn't have a voice "like melting honey".
• He can't possibly win.
• Pushy Edward.
• Not healthy, Bella.
• Just remember, no means no.
• When and if the time comes, I mean.
• Seriously, Bella.
• Yes, he's pretty.
• But he's moody, pushy, and over-protective.
• And he's a jerk.
• Not worth it.
• You are not being adult about this.
• Not that adults don't fall into potentially abusive relationships, too.
• But are adults being adult when they do?
• Okay, right, back to the dreck.
• Bella's planning to go on a beach trip.
• Edward's going camping with his family.
• Blah, blah, end of Chapter 5.

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 4 ("Invitations") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Dream of Edward.
• Bella's not used to being the center of attention by now?
• That's it, Tyler. Grovel. Good boy.
• Edward's being all weird again.
• School dance? Oh noes!
• Bella can't dance!
• So she'll... go to Seattle.
• Excuses, excuses.
• Make up your gorram mind, Edward.
• Bella drops her books.
• Edward picks them up for her.
• Bella drops her keys.
• Edward picks them up for her.
• Bella falls down a lot in Gym.
• Tyler asks Bella to the dance.
• So does Eric. And Mike.
• Gawd.
• You're right, Bella. You're not interesting.
• But this is the "Twilight Zone".
• Apologies to Rod Serling.
• Fretful sheriff.
• We know where his daughter gets it.
• Or maybe he's wise.
• But probably not. Parents are useless.
• And Charlie seems a little slow. Idiocy runs in families?
• Don't do it Bella.
• Don't say "yes".
• Don't open that door.
• Bella, you idiot.

Reading Twilight

Reading notes for Chapter 3 ("Phenomenon") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Forks is icy. Oh noes!
• Better be extra-careful, Bella.
• Remember: You're a klutz.
• Why do the boys of Forks like Bella?
• I don't understand.
• Oh, hey, snow chains. Good idea, Charlie.
• Out-of-control van! Oh noes!
• Edward is Bella's hero.
• He's so pretty and golden-eyed and mysterious.
• How'd he do that?
• Deny, deny, deny.
• Dr. Cullen is pretty, too.
• I bet Tyler becomes a Bella hanger-on.
• Maybe he'll give her chocolates.
• Or something.
• Bella doesn't like lying.
• Charlie's daughter is involved in a car accident, and he feels guilty about telling her mother?
• WTF?
• Adults are useless.

Inspiration

This needed doing...


Panel from She-Hulk: Cosmic Collision.

Exercise in Microfiction

I emerged from my first bed, shed my last coat and spread my wings. It was the first real warmth I had felt; the earth had coated and sheltered me, but it was still cold among the twisted roots and blind moving threads of flesh. Standing amidst the tall shadows, I drank it in. And soon, I folded my dry wings, rasping together in my first experimental song.

Around me, my brothers did the same. I know, because my leg membranes ached with the force of the chorus.

We soon found our bearings, my brothers and I. We touched the souls drifting up from the fruits of the tall shadows. We fed on these fruits when we first saw her. She was silent, but not demure, never demure. She leapt with confidence and grace greater than any of the other silent ones.

Every night my brothers and I courted her, our song growing as the world grew warmer. She did not choose between us. (I try to believe that she would have chosen me.) She ignored us, as we ignored everything but the world's bounty and her.

And then, one warm night, the ghost leaper took her. It was a giant beast, with damp fungal breath, and a cry that shook us all.

Fools, we leapt after it, dropping our bounty, for what was it next to her?

One by one, it took them, grasping them with an impossibly long strand of sour honey. We are agile, but it is fast, this beast. Of my brothers, I alone was quickest, springing behind a boulder, and finding shelter beneath.

Here I cower, but the cloak of earth is no longer a comfort, for I feel the monster's baleful cry. I touch its soul. And I know that the nearest fruit is much too far, and my crop is empty. The beast can afford to wait. I cannot.

Either-Or

EITHER Jen holds herself and Jaz to the very double standard they are discussing here...

... OR she is simply trying not to imagine her friend and five partners at the same time.

***

EITHER Chili is Sue's annoying long-lost distant cousin from another dimension or a mirror universe (or something)...

... OR "Chili Storm" is just a stage name with an origin we dare not try to imagine.

***

Atrea is EITHER Elle transplanted into the Ultimate 'verse...

... OR "like father, like daughter" just applies sometimes.

***

EITHER Aaron Stack is seriously warped...

... OR... or... Okay, there's no "or" here.

(Panels from She-Hulk #28, Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #35, Ultimate Fantastic Four #53, and Ms. Marvel #26.)

I Want to Visit Leeds

I am on dial-up. This means that, out of necessity, I don't spend much time on YouTube. But sometimes it becomes necessary to share what I'm listening to with other people, if only to get bands like Chumbawamba stuck in their heads.

And I found this fan video. It's X-Men movie clips set to "Outsider," off the album Tubthumper, which gets much better after the title track. (No really, it does.)



Is it stuck in your head now, too?

Good.

Dear Marvel...

Dear Marvel, Dwayne McDuffie, Salva Espin and associated art team,

Please give the Chrysler Building a summer vacation special. I'm not sure he could carry a mini-series, but I absolutely want to see this guy's adventures in Japan.

I'm sure I'm not the only one. Thank you!

-Canton

(Panels from WWH Aftersmash: Damage Control #3, easily the best thing to come out of World War Hulk.)

Something that Makes Me Happy

KT Tunstall makes me happy. The album Drastic Fantastic came out last year, and both the music on it and the liner comic book gave me a great big burst of cheer! So the Newsarama interview is both a bit overdue and fun to read.

That's all.

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to engage in more reviewing-like behavior, by the way. Said resolution has not been implemented yet, so technically it's not broken; it's just not out of the box yet.

Tuesday Night Twee #5

This week's twee, because I am feeling festive, comes from the Marvel Holiday Special of 2006:

Oh, yeah, and this is going out to Mallet.

Namor will never live it down, but the Moloids will cherish the memories.

And so will Reed.