Death and Dumb

It's not worth going into my thoughts about Marvel's Secret Invasion, except to say that I am disappointed and will absolutely continue to seek refuge in the Marvel Adventures universe, where characters don't get killed off. For any reason. Paul Tobin may well be a better writer than Mark Millar and Brian Michael Bendis combined, as measured in Fun Stories Written.

But... enough about that. Let's move on to Stephanie Meyer.

I decided to read Twilight, just to see first-hand what all the fuss is about. I have to admit, I went in predisposed to dislike the thing (I've been reading funny internet critiques, you see, thank you Willow), and... well... Prophesy fulfilled. Granted, I've only read the prologue, and the first chapter, so things may change. But I'm not counting on it, because this is "First Sight" (i.e., Chapter 1) summarized:

• Mom's a flake.
• Dad's monosyllabic.
• Bella's really pale.
• She's also a klutz.
• With a really loud truck.
• And all the boys are drawn to her.
• Except Edward Cullen.
• Who is even paler than Bella.
• And who seems to hate her.
• Which might make him the only sane person in Forks.
• Which is a terribly rainy place.
• Bella misses the sun.
• So why'd she move away from Arizona, again?
• Maybe I'll learn that next chapter.

On a brighter note, MaryJanice Davidson's Fish out of Water, a three-hour read of mindless, crude romantic comedy fluff (think mermaid sitcom on cable), was worth the read. Davidson won't be winning a Pulitzer any time soon, but I somehow doubt that's her goal. The Fred the Mermaid trilogy is probably to Twilight as the Marvel Adventures line is to anything written by Bendis or Millar. (It's a fun versus not fun thing.)

Right. Back to attempting to study now.

Another Great Moment with Susan Storm

This panel is from Fantastic Four #561:


I'm not sure why Alternate Future Sue seems so passive, but Regular Universe Sue is cutting quite a swath through the antagonists.

Take that, Dr. Banner, Jr.!

Speculation is Fun

*****

It's been weeks since the referenced comics actually came out, but this is your official SPOILER WARNING. (Particularly for Secret Invasion.)

*****

I have a theory about Janet van Dyne, aka the Wasp. It's not a perfect theory, of course, as it is dependent almost completely on Hulk #7, which takes place in a pocket Loebverse that may or may not have a tenuous connection to regular Marvel. (I'm assuming that it does.)

The Red Hulk story contained within Hulk #7 begins with She-Hulk trying to get somebody to help her track down and beat up Rulk. It's a quest of vengeance. There's really not much to explain, and you don't really need to know. Beating people up is the theme of Hulk. Anyway, the key is the list:

Panels from Hulk #7

Jen finally recruits Thundra and Valkyrie, who are not on the list. But the list seems to consist of the women She-Hulk knows and would call first. Right? Ms. Marvel's a friend and colleague. Storm's part of the Fantastic Four. Jen and Sue go way back. She knows Black Widow (and it's also possible S.H.I.E.L.D. made some suggestions.) She meets Spider-Woman at that Christmas party with Santron, if nothing else. Dazzler's an old friend from her Savage days. So's Hellcat. Risque... Wait, who the heck is Risque?

Let's look her up in the All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe #9, because it's handy and more official than Wikipedia.

Page from the All-New Official Handbook
of the Marvel Universe #9

Hmm. Risque appears to be a dead. She's a mutant, which means she could conceivably be alive again, but she's not exactly high profile. More to the point, I'm positive Jen and Risque have never crossed paths. Even more to the point, she has energy projection powers.

This is where the last few pages of Secret Invasion #7 come in.

Panel from Secret Invasion #7

Yes, it looks very bad for the Wondrous Wasp. Will she survive the Skrull invasion?

Scroll up and take another peak at Jen's list. Jan is as great a friend as Sue, and would be one of the first people Jen would call. She's not on the list, but Risque the Obscure Dead Mutant is right there between Tigra and Hellcat! Really?

In She-Hulk #34, the Invisible Woman joins the new Lady Liberators. She doesn't ask about Jan. What's up with that?

Panel from She-Hulk #34

I think Jan survives, and what's up is that she's just busy learning to control her new(ly enhanced) energy powers while establishing a new superhero identity.

Panel from Secret Invasion #7

It's fun trying to connect the Kirby dots.

Edit: **Thanks to Mallet for listening to this on IM a few days ago. Helps to talk, er, chat it out.