Monday, December 19, 2005

When Holiday Trees Attack

My community (well, Lansing, anyway) has this long-running tradition about bickering about the state's Holiday Tree. That is, the tree they erect and decorate in front of the Capitol building each and every year. Officially, I believe it's a "holiday tree," but so many humorless Christians argue that it is actually a Christmas tree and that the State of Michigan is, I don't know, godless or something. I don't know. What I do know is that bringing greenery inside during the winter months is a pagan thing appropriated by Christians who wished to integrate Solstice with Christmas towards the purpose of "converting the heathens." Thing is, people do still celebrate the Solstice, and the State cannot legally favor Christians over "heathens." Since the tree can represent both Christmas and Solstice, it must be a Holiday Tree. Because "Christmas-Solstice Tree" is quite a mouthful, and runs the risk of offending somebody else whose alternative holiday may or may not be represented by said tree. The debate goes on, but I am sticking with the term "Holiday Tree." There, that's done.

Before reading on, be warned. There may be spoilers ahead.

Now, I'm not positive, but after reading MARVEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2005, and GREAT LAKES AVENGERS GLX-MAS, I am sensing the emergence theme. An attack tree theme. In the Holiday Special, there seems to be a general consensus that Santron stole the show. It is my belief that he stole the show from Dr. Strange's shapeshifting bloodtree. His holiday shapeshifting bloodtree, the one that takes the form of a particularly ravenous fir, attempts to eat both The Wasp and She-Hulk before being muzzled by Spiderman's webbing.

The hungry bloodtree is, oddly enough, not the only tree tamed by decorations this year. In GLX-MAS, Dr. Tannenbaum's evil attack trees also find themselves weighed down and defeated by ornaments and tinsel.

I have no idea whether there are attack trees in the Punisher's Christmas special, but I would not bet against it. (If Castle rigs one to explode or something, let me know. Because then we'd truly have a pattern, here.)

There is probably a lesson to be learned here: If you are putting up a holiday tree, do as the Doorman says, and "trim like you've never trimmed before!"

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