Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Monday, December 08, 2008

Still reading Twilight...

The second chapter ("Open Book") of Twilight by Stephanie Meyer, is about as slow as the first. Hopefully things will pick up a bit, but right now this is decompressed storytelling in novel form. And this is what I've learned:
  • Mike and Eric are totally sweet on Bella.
  • Bella remembers people now!
  • Edward is not in school.
  • Bella is worried.
  • Bella's parents are useless.
  • Bella's already studied this stuff.
  • So school is kinda useless, too.
  • Also, she can't play volleyball.
    • Neither can I, so I guess I sympathize.
  • Dad likes the Cullens. He gets vocal about that.
  • I don't think snow works like that.
    • Not when it's warm enough for rain as well.
    • How would enough accumulate in the space of a high school class period?
    • Well, maybe Washington snow is different than Michigan snow.
    • Whatever. I'm not a climatologist. Moving on.
  • Edward comes back to school.
  • Bella is worried.
  • Ooh, Edward is flawlessly beautiful.
  • With a musical voice.
  • And golden eyes.
  • And his touch is electric.
  • OMG.
  • And he's smart, too!
  • But strangely tense sometimes.
  • Also, adults are useless.
  • Annnd... Previous question answered: FlakeMom remarried, so Bella moved to Forks so FlakeMom could spend more time with Stepdad.
  • Martyr.
Please, by the gods of urban fantasy, let there be villains or werewolves or something in Chapter 3.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Death and Dumb

It's not worth going into my thoughts about Marvel's Secret Invasion, except to say that I am disappointed and will absolutely continue to seek refuge in the Marvel Adventures universe, where characters don't get killed off. For any reason. Paul Tobin may well be a better writer than Mark Millar and Brian Michael Bendis combined, as measured in Fun Stories Written.

But... enough about that. Let's move on to Stephanie Meyer.

I decided to read Twilight, just to see first-hand what all the fuss is about. I have to admit, I went in predisposed to dislike the thing (I've been reading funny internet critiques, you see, thank you Willow), and... well... Prophesy fulfilled. Granted, I've only read the prologue, and the first chapter, so things may change. But I'm not counting on it, because this is "First Sight" (i.e., Chapter 1) summarized:
  • Mom's a flake.
  • Dad's monosyllabic.
  • Bella's really pale.
  • She's also a klutz.
  • With a really loud truck.
  • And all the boys are drawn to her.
  • Except Edward Cullen.
  • Who is even paler than Bella.
  • And who seems to hate her.
  • Which might make him the only sane person in Forks.
  • Which is a terribly rainy place.
  • Bella misses the sun.
  • So why'd she move away from Arizona, again?
  • Maybe I'll learn that next chapter.
On a brighter note, MaryJanice Davidson's Fish out of Water, a three-hour read of mindless, crude romantic comedy fluff (think mermaid sitcom on cable), was worth the read. Davidson won't be winning a Pulitzer any time soon, but I somehow doubt that's her goal. The Fred the Mermaid trilogy is probably to Twilight as the Marvel Adventures line is to anything written by Bendis or Millar. (It's a fun versus not fun thing.)

Right. Back to attempting to study now.