Reading Twilight

I really am still reading Twilight. And slowly, due to the note-taking. My current hypothesis is that the faster you read this book, the more likely you are to like it. If you slow down, you actually have time to think about it, and it comes out sounding like Alanis Morissette covering "My Humps."



It's only an hypothesis, based on one bad song and the fact that I'm pretty sure I could blow through this terribly long novel in the space of a day or two if that was my goal. It would probably be better that way. But I'm prolonging the agony for the sake of my two or three readers, all of whom are friends who warned me about this book's level of awful. (Willow's right. I'm a masochist.)

So without further ado, here are my...

Reading notes for Chapter 9 ("Theory") of Stephanie Meyer's Twilight:

• Edward knows your scent, Bella.
• This just gets better and better.
• Bella's mind doesn't work normally?
• No way.
• Edward drives too fast.
• Bella asks Edward about vampires.
• She doesn't care if Edward's a vampire.
• For some reason I start wondering if there's a necrophilia angle to this.
• I've never wondered that before.
• Why?
• "Vegetarian" vampire idea starts here.
• Edward worries about Bella when he's away from her.
• He also worries about her when he's with her.
• Edward worries about Bella all. The. Time.
• Obsessed much?
• This has been covered in previous chapters.
• Bella? Crying? Will wonders never cease...
• Edward gets Bella home.
• He warns her not to go into the woods alone.
• Meaning she inevitably will at some point.
• Mundane details, blah, blah, blah...
• And we end on the paragraph that's on the back cover of this book.